I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize