i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
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put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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