there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize