What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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