i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize