I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize