I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize