Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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