just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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