I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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