You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize