do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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