exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize