no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize