Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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