i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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