Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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