She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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