i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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