She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
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