I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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