About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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