I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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