I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's the barista slut.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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