dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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