Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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