I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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