I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I FOUND THE LEGS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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