Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
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Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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