dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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