So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize