I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize