After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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