"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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So many bounce houses so little time
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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