Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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