My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize