my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
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Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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