she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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