the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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