I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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