It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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