I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize