either way he was missing a nipple.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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