You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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