have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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