You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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