His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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