I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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