Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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