how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize