you guys were way drunker than both of me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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