One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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