i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
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I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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